It's crazy to think that almost a year ago exactly was when this whole "mystery illness" fiasco began, well began to get bad.
I remember when it all started, the first week of senior year. Because I remember how frustrated my parents were that I was already missing classes when we had been in school for like, 4 days. But what we thought was just the flu, then extended to a two week thing, and three doctor visits later we then decided this was something a little more serious.
Haha Looking back I honestly have no idea how I even graduated. I was absent from school more than I was actually there! Hell, I went about 4 weeks straight without even meeting my government teacher! THAT was a fun day. "Uhm, yeah hi. I'm Dorian, (he looks at me, and understands)" haha Looking back, I don't think I truly thanked my friends and teachers enough for all they did for me through that time. Collecting my work, doing everything they could to try to keep me up with everyone else in the class, and for just being so stinkin' patient with me. I'm thankful for them, and the love and care they showed/show me every day. I couldn't have made it through all of that if they hadn't been there to laugh with me at my funny hospital stories, or cry with me at bad test results. I remember that when I walked across the stage at graduation, I didn't do it for just me. I did it for every single person who helped me get to that day.
And now, a year later here I am. Better? Sure, compared to where I was, being tossed from doctor to doctor almost weekly hearing the same "Well I just don't know, let me refer you to..." and "Just keep taking these meds for the next 6 months.." until finally I heard "We've really done everything we can, we're still not sure what's causing this, but the medication seems to be helping so let's just stick with that." So here I am, little medicated me. (I'm not bitter or anything ;) I know, I know, things could be so much worse. But I just hate to think of how different things could have been if I would have never gotten sick. I couldn't go on college visits like everyone else, I only got the chance to apply to UNT because I ran out of time. Because I was too scared that if I went away I would get really sick again and I would be too far from my doctors, and family. I don't want that to be a regret hanging over my head for the rest of my life.
BUT, that's a whole other tangent. I want the point of this blog to be this: appreciate your health. I know how simple that is, it's something people overlook until they don't have it anymore, I know I did. No one ever wakes up and says "Gee, I'm so glad I have a heart that beats regularly" or anything like that until they feel the pain of it not anymore. Now I'm not asking you to be completely cheesy about this, but seriously, just realize how lucky you are to have your health! Be thankful every time your heart beats, and just anytime you feel well! Because trust me, the other end of the spectrum sucks. Not only for you, but for your friends and family. So enjoy your health. Be happy. And go run a mile for me. :) Just kidding, I wouldn't even do that if I could!
"Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself...'How did I get through all of that'"
This next quote helped me get through the past year. I hope it can provide you comfort as well.
"I have the strength that says... I WILL NOT let this defeat me.
I won't let anyone ruin my heart.
I will make this life beautiful...
No matter what gets thrown at me.
No matter what things may seem like mountains in my path.
I WILL find a way through it."
