Day 31: August 29, 2011

I will forever remember my first weekend in college.
That's for sure.


I feel like moving into a dorm, and living with a friend instead of my parents has forced me to grow up so much in just the past week that it's seriously mind blowing. I remember months ago I used to dread college, I never wanted to think about it because quite frankly it scared the poop out of me. And now, here I am. Starting my second week of classes, going on my second week of living on my own and I'm still alive. So I'd say I'm doing pretty good.
There have been a few things that have happened over the past week that have been a little, well, stressful. But luckily I have some amazing friends that stick by me and help me through all the mess! Seriously, I wake up every day and realize over and over again not only how lucky I am to have the friends that I do, but also to be where I am today. I know before I came here I was worried that it would only ever be UNT, you know, just down the street from home. But in just a few days it has proven to be so much more than that. I've already felt myself begin to grow and mature, and hell it's only the second week. 
So as the homework piles up, and the dorm food gets crappier... I just can't wait to see what else lies ahead for me.


=)

Day 30: August 26, 2011

PARKING SUCKS.

DORM FOOD...MEH.

HEAT SUCKS.

ANNOYING FAN THAT WON'T STOP MAKING NOISES ALL DAY SUCKS.

EVERYTHING ELSE=AWESOME.

So I have now been through my first two days of college classes, and so far they seem to be pretty freaking awesome. I admit that I am looking forward to some more than others, but all in all they're looking great. And as far as our dorms location, I must say that it freaking rocks. Because we're pretty much right at the center of campus. So at most it takes me about 10 minutes to walk to each of my classes. One thing that's way different from high school is the size of the classes, I'm used to maybe 25-30 kids in a class. But walking into History with Leah and seeing like 60-75 seats filled was insane. And in my Theatre Appreciation class our teacher said we were expecting 102 students! I only had one class today so that was pretty awesome, and it was English, with only about 25 students even more awesome. And I have a feeling that it's going to quickly become my favorite class. I've always loved English, and writing and reading and all that jazz. But 1. our teacher just seemed genuine and fantastic and 2. when she was talking about what all we would be doing throughout the course it wasn't all about writing papers and doing research. It was about learning, and discovering more each day about ourselves, and who we are and about the world around us. And I just thought that was really cool. Because THAT'S what I want to do, THAT'S what I want to take away from a class at the end of the day. So, I'll keep you updated on that I'm sure.

Dorm life has been, fun. It's been so amazing to finally be on my own. It's been kind of weird when you just have those moments when you realize that you don't have anyone checking up on you anymore. That you're responsible for yourself now. But it's been great! I thought the community bathrooms were going to be a challenge, but they haven't been so bad.. Not going to lie, my sleep schedule has been a little funky just because we like to stay up and hang out and watch movies and stuff, but when classes get a bit more serious I'm sure that will change. But yeah, dorm food... meh.

And parking still sucks. That won't ever change.

Overall, I'm calling this a very successful first week. It's been stressful, overwhelming, but most of all just flat out fun. And I definitely have memories and stories that I know I will remember and tell for the rest of my life, and in my book... that's what counts.

LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE WASTEFULLY.

Day 29: August 24: 2011

"Follow your INCLINATION

and EXPLORE"

That quote was said to us by one of the head honchos of UNT today at our Freshman welcome rally. Where we were all corralled into one large place, told that we are the largest class in the school's history, and reassured time and time again that we were NOT "settling" by choosing UNT as our College of choice. Good times...

Today I walked around campus and found my classes for the next two days, all pretty close to my dorm which is nice. And I would just like it to be noted that Leah and I actually woke up early enough to make it for breakfast serving time! So that was a bonus to this iffy day. 

Sorry today's post is short and a little pointless, but classes start tomorrow and I want to try and actually get some sleep, unlike the 4 hours I got last night... 

LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE WASTEFULLY.

Day 28: August 23, 2011

Dorm living, awww yeahhhh! I am loving it! It's been an adventure, I can say that! Moving in was a task, and reminded me that one day I would really like to move to a state that is much cooler than Texas (temperature wise, that is.) Luckily everyone around was really nice and we ran into this really nice guy who helped us with all of our heavy boxes. Once everything was in and our parents were gone it finally hit Leah and I that this was the start of our new beginning that we had been waiting for, and it was a great moment.
We then spent the next six hours being girls, putting away all of our clothes, and decorating the walls. Because if you know me, I can't stand to look at a blank wall! I wish I could do a panaramic picture so you guys could see our full room because most of the decorations are on the sides of where I was standing, but I figured this was the typical view.
So far we've just been hanging around, watching movies, getting groceries and more decorations, and sleeping! The only downside to our dorm so far has been that our cafeteria is under construction, and we were told this morning that it probably won't be done until January. So for now, three times a day (ideally, of course.) we have to walk 10 minutes across campus to a different dorm to get our grub on. But I guess that will just help us avoid that freshman 15lbs, right?
Overall, things have been going really well. We have one more free day until classes start on Thursday! And I just have to say PARKING AT UNT SUCKSSSSSSS! But everyday is a learning experience, and I am thankful for it. I'm excited for this year and everything that it will bring.
Also, I don't know if my blogs will include picture for a while. I can't get my Mac to put them on here. (I ran home to grab a few things from my room, and to post this on my old laptop) So, be patient until I can have some Mac genius show me how it's done.
I hope everyone who has already started school is having a good time, and to those who start later this week, stay positive and everything will be okay!

LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE WASTEFULLY.

Day 27: August 20, 2011

T-minus less than 24 hours until I move out...

Today was a wildly successful day, if I do say so myself. I slept through my alarm because I stayed up WAY to late reading last night. (SO worth it though) When I finally woke up I got straight to packing, I put the rest of my belongings away in those little brown and white boxes and I realized that 1. I'm really, really good at packing boxes and 2. holy crap I'm going to be living on my own tomorrow. Well, technically not on my own, own. But with a girl I've never even spent the night with before. Adventure? I think so.

And I know that I like, seriously went extremely fangirl in yesterday's blog over "Looking for Alaska" but I honestly don't think I could have read this book at a better time. And yes, you read that right, I already finished the book. And it's not because it was written poorly, as a matter of fact it's the complete opposite. His writing, and the story completely sucks you in and keeps you wanting to know more every time you pick it up to read. And this may sound weird, but I feel like I have grown as a person from reading it. I shared a few quotes from it yesterday and I am going to again today and I made sure to pick some that have absolutely NO spoilers. However, I will assure you that it is NOT a gushy love story like the back of the book makes you believe it to be, trust me.

"She turned away from me, and softly, maybe to herself, said "Jesus, I'm not going to be one of those people who sits around talking about what they're gonna do. I'm just going to do it. Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia."

"Huh?" I asked.

"You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you'll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.""

Holy poop, isn't his writing just beautiful?! And as you can see, I am obviously lacking in whatever magical gene he was blessed with having if I'm starting off my sentence with "holy poop" but whatever. When I read this part I felt like I could really relate to everything Alaska was saying. I'm always saying that I HATE JUST SAYING that I'm going to go out and do something. Word's are just words until you give them some kind of meaning. And that line "Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia." Melts.My.Heart. Fun Fact: John Green's wife actually said that to him on their first date, heck.. I would have married her too. Kidding... And then the last paragraph she says is something I will write out and put above my bed or something. So often I think we all try to use both our past, and our future as an excuse to escape.

"Those awful things are survivable, because we are as indestructible as we believe ourselves to be. When adults say, "Teenagers thing they are invincible" with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don't know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are."

This quote comes from one of the very last pages in the novel, which let me just warn you, the last 3 pages are the most hard hitting truths of the entire novel. Pretty much filled with words exactly like the ones above. Simply amazing. The part I have bolded is another quote that I think will forever stick with me. I don't feel like I need to say anything about it, but just read over it a few times, and then a few times more.

And then finally after the book is over and you are just sitting there in awe of what you have just read there is an interview of where they ask John like 10 questions and one of them was asking him about the metaphor of the "Great Perhaps" and about how he talked about the "radical hope" and in his answer he said this...

"And that's why I write fiction,probably. It's my attempt to keep that fragile strand of radical hope, to build a fire in the darkness."

John Green is my hero, not only because of his book. But also because of the videos he and his brother make weekly and for the amazing charity work they constantly do to decrease worldsuck. Like I said, I don't think I could have read this book at a better time. If anyone finds themselves with maybe ever 10 minutes of free time a day, I really encourage you to read this book. It leads you to really start thinking about who you are as a friend, a lover, and most importantly a person.

LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE WASTEFULLY.

Day 26: August 19, 2011

Like I said before, in the weeks to come I am probably going to miss a few days every now and then. I'm sorry! I've been super busy running around trying to get everything ready, babysitting all day, packing, and saying my goodbyes to all of my friends who are leaving town. And as you can see by the circles that have taken to their new home under my eyes, I'm exhausted at the end of the day... and just haven't had the time/inspiration to write about anything. I mean, I just figured no one would want to read an entire blog about how sick nasty I think the McDonald's playpen is, or my new shirt folding strategy. So, again I am sorry, I will post whenever I can! I will reach my 365 day goal!!
Today the mothership and I went shopping at Target to buy pretty much everything else I needed for my dorm, because I realized that I move out in two days and really only have my bedding, clothes, books, and movies. Which, I guess I could be happy with... but shampoo and stuff would be nice too. So many many $ later (not all spent on the shampoo) I went into Barnes and Noble and tried (okay, I didn't really try) to stay away from the teen section. But I have been wanting to look into some of John Green's books for months now! That name may sound familiar because a few blogs ago when I talked about my YouTube addictions, he makes up 1/2 of the Vlogbrothers. I have been watching their vlogs for about 7 months now and they are absolutely brilliant. And throughout this time span John Green has had a few books in the works, and would sometimes give little sneak peaks of them in his videos. And in a few of them he would talk about this book in my picture "Looking for Alaska" (who is a girl... not like the frozen country. Just F.Y.I.) and his little excerts always caught my attention. John has this amazing way of writing that makes you feel like he's just talking to you. His humor and sarcasm comes right off of the pages and I am one to genuinely appreciate that. So today, when I came across the John Green section I couldn't help but buy just one more thing for the day. And even though I'm so behind on my sleep, I know I'm going to be up so late tonight reading!

There is one selection from the book that really stuck out to me when I read it. I don't want to set it up, because it's pretty obvious what's going on. I highly recommend this book... even though I'm only 30 pages into it. I am almost certain that I will post more about it as I move further into it.

"...but our time together is short. I must talk, and you must listen, for we are engaged here in the most important pursuit in history: the search for meaning. What is the nature of being a person? What is the best way to go about being a person? How did we come to be, and what will become of us when we are no longer? In short: What are the rules of this game, and how might we best play it?"

"I'm in a class, so teach me. And teach me he did: In those fifty minutes, the Old Man made me take religion seriously. I'd never been religious, but he told is that religion is important whether or not we believed in one, in the same way that historical events are important whether or not you personally lived through them."

This short part really stuck out to me, and the part that I bolded has been running through my mind all night. Fictional or not, the words that John Green wrote are true, at least they are to me. I feel like the questions that come after the want to find meaning are questions we should each strive to find our own answers to throughout our entire lives. But I constantly find myself searching for meaning, that's a big part of who I am. And my new favorite question to ask myself next time I'm in a difficult situation is going to be: What is the best way to go about being a person, or being the best person I can be. Because as people, we mess up, we make mistakes. That's just what we do, but it's how we learn from them, it's what we take away and how we don't make them again that changes us, and shapes us that truly matters.
And the second quote I thought was just beautiful. Coming from someone who is constantly doubting, and question God and my religion, this really struck me. I hope that even if you never care to read the book you can just take something away from these brilliant words that John wrote. I can only hope that one day I can make something as beautiful and impactful as this.

Alright, this is really making me want to go read now. I feel like anyone reading this would be really mad if I didn't include the little summary from the back of the book. I must warn you, from the back it definitely sounds like it's a love story that's geared towards females... but let's be honest... that's how you sell books these days. I.E. Twilight series. (Which John Green is one of the reviewers of, quoted in the front. Just a fun fact. BFFs with Stephanie Mayer.) So guys, please don't let this turn you away from the book. It is told from a males point of view and I am 30 pages into it and it hasn't been gushy at all, just brilliant! :)

"BEFORE. Miles "Pudge" Halter is done with his safe life at home. His whole existence has been one big nonevent, and his obsession with famous last words has only made him crave the "Great Perhaps" (Francois Rabelais, poet) even more. He heads off to the sometimes crazy, possibly unstable, and anything-but-boring world of Culver Creek Boarding School, and his life becomes the opposite of safe. Because down the hall is Alaska Young. The gorgeous, clever, funny, sexy, self-destructive, screwed-up, and utterly fascinating Alaska Young, who is an event unto herself.  She pulls Pudge into her world, launches him into the Great Perhaps, and steals his heart.
AFTER. Nothing was ever the same.

LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE WASTEFULLY.

Day 25: August 16, 2011

Today's blog will be short and sweet just like the little tyke I spent the day with! 
It was a great day, although I must admit I had forgotten (and gladly at that) what 7am looked and felt like. But after a few episodes of Spongebob and some much needed chocolate cookies, we were off for our day full of adventures!
It was so nice to just spend that day not being worried about anything, and just getting caught up in little kid world again. Seeing the innocence in everything. My favorite part of the day was going to lunch and finally having the power to be that awesome adult who says "yes" when the kid asks can I go play on the playground? And then watching him run off and go make friends with all of the other kids who were in there playing. It amazes me how quickly kids accept each other, no matter the color of their skin, no matter their age, no matter what their wearing. If they're willing to play, they're best friends. So he spent a good 30 minutes just playing on the playground, while I sat inside just watching him. It made me admire, and miss being a kid so much. Not having to worry about so much, the biggest thing he had to worry about was how many more times I was going to tell him "just 5 more minutes".
Overall, it was just a great day. Although I couldn't get him to play along to my "packing game"... we still had an awesome time! However, tomorrow I am going on lock-down, and getting things done for real.

LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE WASTEFULLY.

Day 24: August 15, 2011

MY DEAR HOGWARTS FRIEND <3

Alright, before I start this letter... go to youtube and type in "Edward Sharpe& The Magnetic Zeros- Home" Because that's what I'm listening to as I'm writing you this, and I just love that song! It's the one that has a picture of people jumping in the air with the sun setting in the background, I'm romantic..I know!

Anyway Jen, I am so stinkin' glad that I got to see you today. I wish I would have known more in advance so I could have written you an actual letter or something, but this will simply have to do my dear. (I would have said all of this in person, but I didn't want to break up the serious leg shaving that was going on... I mean seriously, I didn't want to be THAT person ;))

Jen, Otter, Hogwarts (If I may call you that) I don't want you to take this lightly, but I honestly don't think I would have been able to have gotten through this year without you. You were there in Aquatic Science every other day to listen to me b---- about how awful hospitals are, how pissed off I was with my doctors, or just to listen to me complain about everything that was happening. And you were there to back me up, to get all gangster and threaten to put a beat-down on those damn doctors if they didn't hurry their little tests up. But most importantly you were just THERE for me. You were there to help me laugh, you were there to help me cry, and you were there to help me take humiliating pictures that I'm sure will come back to haunt us in the years to come, because let's be honest.. that's what we're best at.

But I still remember the first day of that class, before any of my sickness had begun, and we were just two friends who had grown apart but who were extremely excited to have the opportunity to mend things back together. But I am blessed to say that we got so much more than that, you made an irreversible impact on my life Jen. With every godawful picture, with every outrageous text, and with every Aquatic Science joke, there is a memory to go with it that I know I will keep forever.

Thank you for defining friendship, for showing what it truly means to love. I only hope that I will be able to repay you. <3

As you leave tomorrow I hope you know that you have sososososo many people thinking about you and loving you. And we all know that you are going to change the world for the better, because well, that's what you do best Jen.

I stinkin' love you.

P.S.- Rub your legs for me right now, and smile.mmhmmm that's nice. hahaha

LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE WASTEFULLY.

Day 23: August 14, 2011

I would give just about anything to be back in this moment.

"Our lives improve only when we take chances...

and the first and most difficult risk

we can take is to be honest with ourselves."

-Walter Anderson

"The greatest weakness of most humans

is their hesitancy to tell others

how much they love them

while they're alive."

-Orlando A. Battista

"I'm always trying to do the impossible

to please people. It comes from not being secure

in myself and not looking at the things within

I have to fix. Sometimes, you keep going

because you don't want to face

the truth."

-Naomi Campbell

I think one of the hardest things that happens to us is when you search for a deeper meaning in something, or maybe someone.. and then you get that sence of hope, that maybe this time it will work out, or maybe this time if you give them that fourth chance.. things will turn out different, they will be different. And it's that awful feeling of getting your hopes up, it's almost unavoidable most of the time. It's like that feeling you get every time you get a text or a phone call from that boy you just started talking to, your heart starts racing and you can't help the smile that streches across your face. Until you find out, some things never change... Some people are really good at fooling you, telling you exactly what you want to hear. I'd like to think that forgivness, like love should be unconditional and unlimited... but in some cases, that just seems impractical.

That feeling of getting your tiny string of hope cut off is awful. It's nothing tangable, it's not like you can go run to your friend crying showing her your wound. It's silent, it's personal, and it's something that sticks with you until YOU let it go. And I count myself amoung one of the worst at "letting go". I hold things in, I don't like to burden others with my troubles. Luckly, I have gatherd a handful of people who have gained my trust and who have stuck by my side through thick and thin. But as I have grown up I have found otherways that help me release things, whether it's through writing, painting, driving, or something else.

So I encourage you to search for your own releases, because although talking to people is good sometimes it just doesn't do the trick. So that on days like today, when you feel that hope get lost you can have that distraction, and get back to making things be okay.

I also really enjoy listen to music right before I go to bed, so here is a list of some of my favorite songs, if you don't want to go buy them or anything you can always just go to good ol' YouTube and look them up on there.

Detials in the Fabric- Jason Maraz

Awake My Soul- Mumford & Sons

A beautiful Mess- Jason Maraz

Belief- John Mayer (stripped version)

The Cave- Mumford & Sons

Come Home- One Republic

Turning Tables- Adele

Each Coming Night- Iron and Wine

Happiness- The Fray

Fix You- Coldplay

Human of the Year- Regina Spektor

Us- Regina Spektor

Hero- Regina Spektor

After the Storm- Mumford & Sons

Dog Days- Florence and the Machines

To Whom it May Concern- The Civil Wars

LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE WASTEFULLY.

Day 22: August 13, 2011

I missed a post yesterday, so sorry! I had every intention to write it before I headed out to Bridgeport but I failed to find the time to do so and by the time I got home it was already today. I have a feeling in the weeks to come I am going to miss a few more, not on purpose, but just with trying to get everything ready to move out, and trying to spend time with some friends before they all leave I'm finding it difficult to balance out my time. Enough excuses.
I took this picture Thursday afternoon I believe, and it's quite refreshing because although I love to see a sunny, bright blue sky I love the dark and gloomy days every now and then. And I know we all enjoyed what little rain we got! So I thought I would share this photo in hopes that we could all relive the beauty of the brief coolness and downpour we got to enjoy.
In so many novels authors use storms as metaphors, beautiful ones at that. To show anger, to show grief, to show longing, but my favorite is to show a way of being cleansed. I mean, first off when it rains I'm usually just really thankful that it's finally raining since here in Texas we go so long without it sometimes. But when I get past that, I like to think about what I could let wash away with this storm..
I know we may not be due for another storm for a little bit, but what would you let wash away?
Think about it, and let it go.
You'll be glad that you did, trust me.

LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE WASTEFULLY.

Day 21: August 11, 2011

The kindness of a stranger.

"Wherever there is a human being,

there is an opportunity for a kindness." 

 ~Seneca

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."

 ~Leo Buscaglia

Phew, what a day indeed. Like I said in my "blog" yesterday (sorry again about that) Sara and I spent most of the night making a bunch of videos. And last night when I got home around am  I wasn't feeling tired so I wanted to go back and watch them. Mind you, they were all around 20-25 minutes. And the one where we reviewed our summer was an hour and a half. So I didn't end up going to bed until around 5am. Thus, I didn't wake up until around 1pm this afternoon. I woke up and went into the kitchen and made this freaking awesome sandwich, not to toot my own horn, but seriously this was a epic sandwich. And just as I finished putting everything away and sat down to start eating my phone started ringing and it read "MOTHERSHIP" calling.
Next thing I know I'm putting plastic wrap on my epic sandwich, and walking out the door.. defeated, and hungry. Heading to Staples to pick up my stranded Mothership because her spaceship has a dead battery. Well, I had to first put out a call for jumper cables. Once I got some and got to the store the Mothership assured me that she knew what she was doing.... 2 minutes later I'm on the phone with my brother asking him for help. Finally, we connect the red to red and black to black AND... nothing happens.
Apparently my car is as wimpy as it looks. But luckily the man in the picture above was nice enough to pull up and ask if he could help us out. He assured us that his engine was much stronger and would do the trick, however for about 10 minutes it didn't do anything. It was then that we discovered the problem was in the cables. (I later asked the owners of the cables where they got them from... a garage sale... awesome. haha) Anyway, he messed around with them a bit and then finally, we got the spaceship to start!
We thanked the man, he was seriously SO nice and I know we wouldn't have figured it out, and would have had to have it towed had he not have had to get office supplies today and been kind enough to stop and give us a hand. It's people like him that give you hope that there's still good people out there in the world.
And well, I know that not all of us know how to jump cars. But I just ask that if you ever see someone in this situation. Please just take the time to stop and ask if there is anything you can do to help them. Maybe they need to use a phone, maybe they could use a bottle of water. Be the stranger who offers them a kind hand the next time. Pay it forward. I know I will.
P.S.- I move out in 10 days. =)

Day 20: August 20, 2011

IM SO SORRRRYYYYYYYYY

Like my soccer ball...?

Allow me to explain.....

So... it's 11:13pm, I am not currently using my computer. Nor am I using one with any valid pictures on it that would be okay for this blog... So I found a soccer ball and used it. =)

I pinky promise that my blogs will go back to normal tomorrow! Sara and I spent quite a few hours tonight making a "Summer 2011 in review" video, and we got really caught up in doing that so I completely lost track of the time and I'm not at my own house. EXCUSES, EXCUSES.

So tomorrow will be back to normal, with an actual topic! 

I'm actually starting to pack my clothes and things away into boxes!! 11 days!!

LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE WASTEFULLY.

Day 19: August 9, 2011

Can I get a collective AWWWWW!

SORRY about yesterdays post... I still have NO idea what was wrong with the site and why it wouldn't let me post it. But if you didn't catch it, I did post an actual blog last night... it's over on my facebook page. Check it out!

Moving right along.....

So tonight's blog is going to be about my day, because I'm running out of time and today was a pretty good day.

I started off the day by going to UNT with Preston to drop off my transcript. We happened to find a freaking awesome parking spot (which is like, absolutely unheard of on campus!!) AND there was still 47 minutes left in the parking meter. But we decided to put in another quarter just in case. Funny thing was, our "business" took less than five minutes. So... we decided to look at it like we were "Paying it Forward" (great movie by the way) for the next person to happen upon that parking spot. Then we got distracted by the Chicken Express that is on campus, and went inside to get their Jumbo sweet teas, but they were out. FAIL. After that Preston challenged me to direct him to my dorm, this is funny because I will be moving there in 12 days!! Annnd I still have trouble locating it on that campus. But after about 10 minutes of driving around we found it by me saying "oh look! that one's three stories and looks like crap, I think that's it!" =) Then Preston and I just drove around town for a little bit, talking about thrift stores, grandparents we don't know, and how happy we are to be out of high school. And then we realized we're going to be moving out of our houses in just 12 days! SO CRAZY!

Skipping ahead about 4 hours, my friend Chelsy is back in town and we decided to go on a walk because we convinced ourselves it felt nice outside... ha...ha... But we sat at the park and talked for a few hours, just catching up. I listened to her talk about her boyfriend, with the biggest smile on her face the whole time. I don't think there's a better feeling then finally seeing your friends being in a good relationship that they deserve. (Hey Chels, I know you're reading this... so CRAZY NIKKI! hahaha) 

But I think my favorite part about today was that I have grown up so much with both Preston and Chelsy, and it's so exciting to think that all three of us are about to start this new chapter in our lives, and we're all still together. But so much is different. Chelsy and I talked about something today that I think is so important for everyone to come to terms with at some point in their lives, and the sooner the better. And it is this; life happens.. people are going to come in and out of your life, some are going to hurt you, some are going to change you for the better. But the thing is you really don't have any control over other people. You just have to let life happen. Because when you do, when you just let go... some amazing things come out of it. You make friends that will somehow stick with you through all the drama of high school and will be there to make fun of you when you can't find where your dorm is. Or friends who can tell sit on a park bench with you for hours and just talk, and be perfectly content.

Let life happen.

P.S.- For everyone who is asking Preston and I are not dating. Boys and girls are allowed to be just friends. I don't know when that rule ever changed.

LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE WASTEFULLY.

Day 18: August 8, 2011



Mission trip to Juarez, Mexico

"An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity."

-Martin Luther King Jr.

"You are not here to save the world,

but you are here to touch the hands

that are within your reach."

-Kathleen Price

"There are two primary choices in life;

to accept conditions as they exist,

or accept the responsibility

for changing them."

-Denis Waitley

Day 17: August 7, 2011

Hello, my name is Dorian... and I am addicted to YouTube Vlogers.

What is a vloger you ask? Well it's the exact same thing as having a blog, except in video form. Not to sound like a creepy stalker, but I, along with thousands of other people watch these vlogs almost every day. These people are so inspiring! Not only do they make funny videos each and every day but a lot of them do charitable work, write books, act, have CDs, you name it. This group of people are so talented and it's inspiring to watch, and is a big part of what made me want to do this blog. So I thought I'd share them on here so if anyone wanted to look into them they could! Enjoy!

VLOGERS:

VLOGBROTHERS- Hank and John Green, two brothers who use their humor and wit to help decrease Worldsuck and make the world a better place one video at a time. Probably some of the most interesting videos you'll ever watch. John Green is the author of quite a few books such as Looking for Alaska, and Paper towns. I HIGHLY suggest looking into some of their videos, you will walk away always learning something new from these two. They have definitely been a big inspiration for me. DFTBA. Video to start with: How to be a Nerdfighter: A Vlogbrothers FAQ

SHAYTARDS- You definitely have to like kids to watch this vlog, these people are hilariously crazy! But their family is so full of love that it's so inspirational to watch their family learn and grow each and every day. Shay, Katilette, Princesstard, Sontard, Babytard, and Rocktard (they use fake names of course:) will definitely put a smile on your face and make you feel like part of the family, and give you a taste of that crazy LA lifestyle!

CTFXC- Charles Trippy and Alli Speed are two very down to earth people who have been vlogging for almost three years and do it simply because they love it. My favorite part about their vlogs is that they are really into music, and they have a lot of connections with bands like We the Kings and a few others, so they make appearances every now and then. Plus, they have a wedding coming up in a few months so that's always funnn! Every day is a new adventure, these two are really young and know how to live life to the fullest!

HONORABLE MENTIONS: (because if I went through and talked about all of them this blog would go on forever! But if you go on YouTube and search these people I promise hundreds of videos will pop up and you just have to watch a few and you'll get sucked in!)

WHEEZY WAITER

PHILLIP DEFRANCO/SXEPHIL

MRARTUROTREJO

IMPROV EVERYWHERE

RHETT AND LINK

LIVELAVALIVE

KYLESNEXUSONE

TOBUSCUS

IJUSTINE

MYSTERYGUITARMAN

COURTNEYPANTS

JULIANSMITH

ILAJIL

RAYWILLIAMJOHNSON

WHATTHEBUCK

KASSEMG

These people are the perfect example that if you are doing something that you love, then you should share it with the world.

LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE WASTEFULLY.

Day 16: August 6, 2011

"A sense of humor... is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life." -Hugh Sidney

Sometimes I think we all get too caught up in the seriousness of life. And we all just need to grab our smart phones, or grab a friend who has one.. and download the "Geico bro-stache" app for FREE and take a few goofy pictures. Because I know for me at least, it really helped relieve some tension. It was nice to just sit at a random sonic and take a ton of weird pictures with these too. To watch other people drive up next to us and just stare! It was awesome!

It's nights like this that make you sit back and feel silly for being so stressed out in the first place. But sometimes, we don't even realize how much stress we are taking on until it's over, you know?

I don't have much to say, but in short, tonight was good. I laughed, a lot. I was surrounded by two wonderful friends whom I haven't seen in a while, and I'm hoping to change that. I'm extremely thankful for the sense of humor we all have, and for the grasp on life it has allowed for us all to achieve.

Now, I dare you..go find someone with a smart phone and download the "Geico Bro-stache" app and have some fun! I promise you'll get a good laugh!

LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE WASTEFULLY.

Day 15: August 5, 2011

Anyone who has ever had any kind of long-term health issues knows what I mean when I say it is literally the most limiting, frustrating, and exhausting thing you will ever experience. Especially when no doctor can seem to give you any answers. Well maybe not ever, but at least in my 18 years of living it has been.
I started getting sick in late August of last year... and now, as it's already August again it's hard to believe that so much time has gone by. The good thing about all of this is that a year later I am in such a better place than I was, however, I'm still not at my 100%. I'm still taking a bunch of medication, I'm still limited by sickness almost every day, and it's quite possibly the most frustrating thing ever. None of my doctors were ever able to give me a reason for any of this.(except for my heart problem,which "just happens to people sometimes" ha..ha..)
But as hard as it is for me sometimes, I've learned that it doesn't do any good to sit there and just be frustrated. I'm going to feel like crap that day no matter what, so why not try to make something good out of it? Today was uber frustrating because we got a call from our insurance company saying they weren't going to cover the cost of the heart monitor I'm supposed to wear for the next two weeks. No big deal right? WRONG. This tiny machine costs around $800, and mind you.. I've been spending money like no one's business on school for my classes, parking, and dorm room.. So we kindly (well, sort of kindly) told the woman on the phone that we would talk to my doctor about finding an alternative test. So yeah, awesome.
But I am confident that something good will come of this... it will all somehow work out in the end. And until then, I'm not going to worry about it. For anyone who has ever been through anything like this, or has known someone who has been through this I'm so sorry. I can't lie and say that I'm not a little worried about next year, living on my own with all of this. But that's why I choose UNT. It's close to home, close to my doctors. But thankfully, I am blessed with some of the most understanding and amazing friends EVER who have held my hand and my hair (too much? haha) through it all. I seriously couldn't have gotten through this year without my friends and family. Thank you all so much. And I know this may sound silly, but please, appreciate your good health. I know I never used to think anything of it until I forgot what it was like, but I'm starting to remember again. :)

Today while riding in the car I heard the song "The Heart of Life" by John Mayer, and the lyrics to this song really struck me. So instead of a quote I thought I would put them here at the end. If you haven't heard this song go look it up on YouTube or something!

The Heart of Life- John Mayer

"I hate to see you cry, lying there in that position.

There's things you need to hear, so turn off your tears and listen.

Pain throws your heart to the ground. Love turns the whole thing around.

No, it won't all go the way it should, but I know the heart of life is good.

You know it's nothing new, bad news never had good timing.

But the circle of your friends will defend the silver lining.

Pain throws your heart to the ground. Love turns the whole thing around.

No, it won't all go the way it should, but I know the heart of life is good.

Pain throws your heart to the ground. Love turns the whole thing around.

Fear is a friend who's misunderstood.

But I know the heart of Life is good.

I know it's good."



LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE WASTEFULLY.

Day 14: August 4, 2011

"There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout:

This is me damn it!

I look the way I look, think the way I think,

feel the way I feel, love the way I love!

I am a whole complex package.

Take me... or leave me.

Accept me- or walk away!

DO NOT try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold.

If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.

When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad- you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you."

-Stacey Charter

I was looking through some of my old pictures today and came across this one and thought up a good topic to go along with it. I remember the day I took this picture, it was the 4th of July last year. My youth group was doing an event on the Square where we would walk around and give out "Free Compliments". It was a really cool experience because it forced people out of their comfort zones, it made you interact with a complete stranger and reach out to them with genuine kindness and only hope that they respond in a positive way, and most did.

But I don't think of that day when I see this picture. When I look at this picture it makes me think about how much we change ourselves to make others happy. Whether it's something small like the clothes we wear, or something bigger like our actions. And we all do it! Even after we realize that it isn't right, we continue to do it.. maybe because we're afraid of being the outsider. Who knows, it's different for everyone because we're all in different situations. But I can almost guarantee that everyone who reads this can think of at least on situation/relationship they have been in that they have had to change themselves in order to make another person happy. But the fact of the matter is, that just isn't right.

If you are friends with someone, or in a relationship with someone who is wanting you to be someone that you're not... then you shouldn't have ever been with them in the first place.

I hope that you don't have to read my blog to be told that. But if you do, then let me tell you that there are people who love you for YOU. All of your flaws and imperfections make you beautiful, and if others can't see that, then quite frankly they aren't worth your time.

See the beauty in imperfection.

Love yourself 100%, learn from your mistakes.

Have no regrets.

LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE WASTEFULLY.

Day 13: August 3, 2011

I got this quote from the movie The Chaos Theory, staring Ryan Reynolds. (If anyone has Netflix, it's on there fo free so I definitely recommend it!) It was a good movie and I liked the story of it, but this quote came at the very end, I must admit that I did take a few sentences out because unless you've seen the movie then they won't make sense. But I absolute love it, and it's stuck with me for the past couple of weeks.

"The most important thing about love

is that we choose to give it,

and we choose to receive it.

Making it the least random act in the entire Universe.

IT MAKES US HUMAN."

A life without love is not a life worth living, just like a day without laughter is a day wasted. It all sounds like the biggest cliche, but in the end it's the truest thing I've heard all day. It's always strange to sit back at the end of the day and think back to all of the people whom you've interacted with, and think of how they are going to remember you because of today. Would you be remembered for some random act of kindness at the store? Would you be remembered for cutting them off on the highway? Is it possible to make yourself be remembered for your love even if you only met the person for a moment?

Lets see, today I woke up, played with my dogs for a while... so I hope they know I love them.

I cleaned my room for a while, I don't think my room has feelings... :)

Then I went to Old Navy, tried on some clothes... left the ones I didn't want in the dressing room, probably annoying someone who works there.

So hopefully, I did okay today on the whole idea of spreading my love. But I hope you understand what idea I'm trying to get across. I don't want anyone to be in the mentality that "live as if this were your last moment" because that's always sort of weirded me out to think that I could die at any moment and whatever. But just be conscious that anytime you meet someone, even if it's only for a moment, that could be how they remember you forever. So make it count!

"IN THIS LIFE WE CANNOT ALWAYS DO GREAT THINGS,

BUT WE CAN ALWAYS DO SMALL THINGS WITH GREAT LOVE."

             -Mother Teresa

"KIND WORDS CAN BE SHORT AND EASY TO SPEAK,

BUT THEIR ECHOS ARE TRULY ENDLESS."

          -Unknown

"Drifting off to sleep, I thought about how nobody is perfect. How you just have to close your eyes and breathe out, and let the puzzle of the human heart be what it is."

                                                               LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE WASTEFULLY.

Day 12: August 2, 2011

Welcome to my day.

"Everything should be made as simple as possible,

but not simpler."

 -Albert Einstein

Ah, and so my first dog picture has apeared. When I took this picture earlier today I knew that it had to be shared!

I don't really have much to say today. I've been in a weird funk for the past couple of days, I don't know if its from the trip or from being sick or what. I spent most of today working on cleaning out my room. And it's been pretty weird going through it and finding things that I haven't seen in ten years.  And thinking that in just 19 days I'm going to be moving out. But spending the day cooped up in my room let me have time to just think...and it was kind of nice not to have any real distractions. (Obviously Zoey wasn't one!!)

I got to thinking about why we get so stressed out about things. I made a list of things that I was stressed out about in my head, and it took me only moments to think of at least ten things. Friends, my health, school, church, family, my car, ect. And I thought about the real reasons of why those things were bothering me, the thing they all had in common? None of them were really in my control.

So I figure that I have two ways to go about these stresses. I can dwell in them, lay awake at night and wonder why things don't happen the way I want them to. Or I can pick up my head, realize that no matter what THINGS WILL BE OKAY, and keep on keeping on. Personally, I choose the later. Sure sometimes the stress is unavoidable, but you just have to find a way to deal and move on.

Or we can all take after Zoey, apparently she's got all the answers.

LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE WASTEFULLY.

Day 11: August 1, 2011

-Jesse Smith-

Picture taken just after he learned to write his name in cursive for the first time.

This picture, without a doubt captures my favorite moment from mission trip. Which is only a bit ironic because this was also the worst day for me on the trip. As I said in yesterday's post, I have a fear of old people. So when my work group was sent to help in a nursing home I was anything but excited. But I put on my brave face, and I got through it. The first day we went my friend Katy and I played the Wii with a woman named Marge, and let me tell you she owned at The Price is Right! However, the second day we went back I didn't hold up as well.

It was a Wednesday which meant that they were going to have a worship service. So the 11 people in my work group went to all five floors and gathered up all of the residents who wanted to attend the service. We ended up getting about 45 people for the service to gather in a room that was not large enough. (Keep in mind, they were all in wheelchairs/hospital beds.) This nursing home only had two elevators and could only fit three wheelchairs in each, so the whole process of getting all of the people into the service took about 35 minutes. So while the rest of our work group finished up getting the people, Sara and I and one more youth stayed in the room with the patients and started singing hymns with them. Which was an emotional task to begin with. Well, just our luck.. the preacher was running late. So the nurses were scrambling around trying to keep everyone as comfortable as they could. Meanwhile, Sara and I got moved up to the very front of the room into these two chairs that were facing the entire room, looking at all of these people. To say that I was out of my comfort zone would be an understatement.

Sara doesn't have a problem with the elderly, but you couldn't help but get emotional when you looked at this group. You could see the pain and tiredness in there faces. And for the whole hour and a half we had to sit at the front of that room, and smile. Because that's what we were there to do, to spread our love. But as soon as that service was over and we got everyone back into their rooms, I lost it. I wasn't able to hold it together. And it wasn't exactly because I was scared, but I couldn't help but be overwhelmed with the sadness that was looming over this place. Well, then things got even better... The next work place we were supposed to go to cancelled on us, and they asked us to go to yet another nursing home.

BUT, this is where everything turns around.

The leaders in our group wanted to take Sara and I back to the church where we were staying because they knew we had a rough day and they didn't want us to push ourselves. But they must not know her and I very well. We had our moment to be sad and to cry, but then we moved on and were ready to go and help out where we were needed. So we headed out for the next nursing home. And let me tell you it was a COMPLETE 180. The residents in this place were mobile, and happy! They wanted their nails done, and they wanted them to be done now!! haha

But Katy and I were given the task of teaching a few of the residents how to read and write.

I was SO nervous when they told us that! I want to go into the teaching profession, but I'm used to working with 3-4 year olds, not 79 year-olds. I didn't want to offend them, or make them feel bad about themselves. But it turned out to be the best experience I had all week.

I worked with a woman named Wanda, who has been working on her reading and writing for a few months and is doing wonderful! Then there was Jesse Smith, oh what to say about this wonderful, crazy man. He walked into the room and was telling jokes, and then pulled me aside and confessed that he didn't know how to write his name but told me that he didn't want to burden me. Let me tell you, Jesse Smith was anything but a burden. And after about an hour he did learn to write his first name all by himself. And I am expecting a letter to come in the mail with a full page of his name sometime in the next month.

I don't feel like I'm doing a very good job of explaining how extremely difficult and yet amazing this day was. I think it was just something that you had to experience for yourself. But if there is anything I hope that you can take away from my ramblings, it is that I hope that in times when we are scared that we just have to find a way to look past that fear. Because when we do, amazing things can happen. Beautiful people like Jesse Smith can come into our lives, for one day only.. and yet, change it forever.

Don't let your fears limit you.

"It takes a lot of courage to release

the familiar and seemingly secure,

to embrace the new.

But there is no real security in what

is no longer meaningful. There is more

security in adventurous and exciting,

for in movement there is life,

and in change there is power."

-Alan Cohen

LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE WASTEFULLY.