I would give just about anything to be back in this moment.
"Our lives improve only when we take chances...
and the first and most difficult risk
we can take is to be honest with ourselves."
-Walter Anderson
"The greatest weakness of most humans
is their hesitancy to tell others
how much they love them
while they're alive."
-Orlando A. Battista
"I'm always trying to do the impossible
to please people. It comes from not being secure
in myself and not looking at the things within
I have to fix. Sometimes, you keep going
because you don't want to face
the truth."
-Naomi Campbell
I think one of the hardest things that happens to us is when you search for a deeper meaning in something, or maybe someone.. and then you get that sence of hope, that maybe this time it will work out, or maybe this time if you give them that fourth chance.. things will turn out different, they will be different. And it's that awful feeling of getting your hopes up, it's almost unavoidable most of the time. It's like that feeling you get every time you get a text or a phone call from that boy you just started talking to, your heart starts racing and you can't help the smile that streches across your face. Until you find out, some things never change... Some people are really good at fooling you, telling you exactly what you want to hear. I'd like to think that forgivness, like love should be unconditional and unlimited... but in some cases, that just seems impractical.
That feeling of getting your tiny string of hope cut off is awful. It's nothing tangable, it's not like you can go run to your friend crying showing her your wound. It's silent, it's personal, and it's something that sticks with you until YOU let it go. And I count myself amoung one of the worst at "letting go". I hold things in, I don't like to burden others with my troubles. Luckly, I have gatherd a handful of people who have gained my trust and who have stuck by my side through thick and thin. But as I have grown up I have found otherways that help me release things, whether it's through writing, painting, driving, or something else.
So I encourage you to search for your own releases, because although talking to people is good sometimes it just doesn't do the trick. So that on days like today, when you feel that hope get lost you can have that distraction, and get back to making things be okay.
I also really enjoy listen to music right before I go to bed, so here is a list of some of my favorite songs, if you don't want to go buy them or anything you can always just go to good ol' YouTube and look them up on there.
Detials in the Fabric- Jason Maraz
Awake My Soul- Mumford & Sons
A beautiful Mess- Jason Maraz
Belief- John Mayer (stripped version)
The Cave- Mumford & Sons
Come Home- One Republic
Turning Tables- Adele
Each Coming Night- Iron and Wine
Happiness- The Fray
Fix You- Coldplay
Human of the Year- Regina Spektor
Us- Regina Spektor
Hero- Regina Spektor
After the Storm- Mumford & Sons
Dog Days- Florence and the Machines
To Whom it May Concern- The Civil Wars
LIVE.LAUGH.LOVE WASTEFULLY.
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